Description

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Collected Book – Volume 5                         Trade Paperback
Writers: Mark Martin
Artists: Mark Martin
Cover by: Mark Martin

Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird thought they were making a joke about the countless mutant and kung-fu heroes in comics. So what better than to name their improbable series, “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”? Little did they know that their joke would soon develop a cult of devoted fans, eventually turning them into an international phenomenon.

The Turtles: Donatello, Raphael, Michelangelo, and Leonardo, along with their rat sensei Splinter, are now one of the hottest tickets in town. Stars of stage, screen, and countless comics (including this, the original), they combine humor and action in a way that appeals to young children and hip intellectuals.

Stories/Spoilers
First in part #1, “A Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Story” The story begins with a little girl sitting on a box who talks to the reader. She begins by saying, “Let me tell you a story.” The girl explains that she has a time machine and that she has to thank the Turtles for their help, but she must hurry as the time machine only has about 2 hours before it relocates. The girl then enters the time machine (which is nothing more than a big white cube on the outside but is filled with all kinds of apparatus on the inside) and engages its engines, which warp reality. “I hate this part,” she says. Cut to the streets of a city, where a drug addict has just stolen an old lady’s purse. The woman’s little dog is in pursuit of thief, but he meets up with the Turtles before the dog can bite his ankle. The junkie throws the purse at Mike and flees. Raph admonishes Mike for blowing their cover, but Mikey states that no one will believe a word the crook says. Raph than asks Mike how he’ll get the purse back to the lady without compromising their identities, and that’s where the little dog comes in handy. Mikey gives the pooch the purse and the dog runs back to his master in victory. Suddenly the time machine appears in the alley. The little girl pokes her head out and sees Leonardo, who she leaps on and hugs his neck. Leo warns the girl to mind his katanas and to be more careful who she leaps on. The girl says, “You don’t know who I am yet, do you?” Leo is bewildered and goes to fetch his brothers. The little girl sends the reader off to shop for books for about an hour. Leo and the others appear in the room cautiously, wary of any further hug attacks. The girl says that she came back to thank them, just as the time machine begins to act up. The lass quickly hugs each Turtle in thanks and gets back into the box, which warps reality once again. The box takes off and moments later a new box lands in the same spot, with a profound “Ouch!” resounding from within. The Turtles recognize the girl’s voice and wonder what’s going on. The box opens and a head poke out, revealing the time traveler – who no longer looks like a little girl, but a bug-eyed mutant. Everyone screams. After brief confusion, the time traveler tells her story to the Turtles. Her father, Bobby, wanted to be in the cola business but had to give up his dreams when his wife, Manda, became pregnant. The soda business was only losing the couple money, and with a baby on the way, Bobby had to start making money to support the family. So, the inventor takes a job with the Maximegamulticorp Capitalist Conglomerates Research Center and begins working on an “intelligence boosterizer” formula. While at work, Bobby worries about the use of the concoction and his proximity to dangerous chemicals, radiation and other phenomena. His co-worker reassures him and tells him that they’ll be getting raises next week, which keeps Bobby going. The time traveler then explains that while she was developing in her mother’s womb, she began to assimilate her parent’s thoughts and understand the world far better than her mother could. She also became aware that she was a genetic misfit, and once she was born, people would be frightened of her appearance… so when her mother finally gave birth, the traveler ran away. The mutant girl knew that her parents couldn’t cope with a super-intelligent mutant baby, and she feared what the government would do to her (dissection). So, the traveler escaped the hospital and set up a secret lab of her own. She had monitored her parents lives for a while, but the guilt of having a mutant baby had wrecked Bobby and Manda’s lives, so the traveler stopped keeping tabs on them as it was too depressing. Eventually the time traveler devised a plan – she built a time machine that would allow her to travel back in time and convince her father to not take the job from MMMCCC, thus allowing her to be born as a normal little girl. The time traveler asks the Turtles to help her on the mission, and the guys debate the problems with disrupting the timeline. As the TMNT discuss the theoretical problems, the traveler runs off. The Turtles set off in pursuit and eventually arrive at a house. The boy’s barge in to find a shocked Bobby and Manda, who are speechless and immobile. The Turtles are tongue-tied at first, but thanks to some quick thinking, they pose as employees of MMMCCC and welcome Bobby to the company. Bobby and Manda remain in shock as the TMNT head out. As the guys are descending a stairway pondering if their ruse will work, they come to the conclusion that it will, as they’ve already met the traveler in the form of a normal little girl. The guys get back to where the time machine is and are greeted by the traveler, who now looks like a mix of the little girl and her former mutant self (not a pretty sight). As the girl continues to mutate, she bids the Turtles farewell and climbs back into the box. Reality warps once again. “I hate this part!” the Turtles exclaim. Cut to a kitchen, where we see the little girl getting some cola out of her refrigerator. She spots the reader but shows no recognition, in fact she accuses you of being a stowaway and states that you’ll have to go back as soon as possible. She then remembers that she has a test tomorrow and that she has to study – which excites her because she’s getting her normal memories back. Apparently, all went well with the time travel scheme. “Ring my bell!” the girl exclaims, “I’m turning into me! You just will not be-leev what I did today…” The little girl pulls up a box, sits down and says, “Let me tell you a story.” What goes around comes around.

Next in part #2, “Bill’s TV Repair”, As the issue begins, the Turtles are ransacking their lair after receiving a bomb threat, shortly after their encounter with the Time Traveler girl from TMNT #16. The lads aren’t having any luck locating the explosive, but Leo is confident that the threat is real… as his “Turty Sense” is tingling. As Leonardo appeals to his brothers to continue the search, Raph grabs the TV remote out of boredom. As he clicks the button, Leo screams, “NO!” and then the TV launches a bomb out of its screen. Meanwhile, six years in the future, we see the young girl emerging from her time machine. She’s pleased to have arrived safely home, after her problems back in issue #16. She’s not so pleased to find a bizarro monster waiting for her (although it does offer her a cookie). The girl screams and flees her apartment, by crashing through a second story window. Fortunately, the monster completes an acrobatic catch and sets her safely to the ground, where the child bursts into another sprint. The creature then zaps the terrified child with a freezing ray and engages her in conversation. We learn that the alien is an ambassador of an alien race called the Skwal. His name is an unpronounceable symbol, so he goes by the name of “George.” We finally find out that the girl’s name is Dale Evans McGillicutty. George explains that Dale is in big trouble – as is all of humanity. The Skwal have been watching the planet Earth, attempting to keep the human race from destroying themselves (unfortunately the aliens arrived too late, so things on Earth are already too messed up to fix). George has a particular interest in Dale, as she invented the time machine (although thanks to her manipulation of time, she actually didn’t – ah temporal anomalies). George needs Dale to use her time machine to go back 2 million years into the past and attempt to change the mindset of humanity, to make the species less violent and thereby giving hope to the future of the race and planet. However, the window of opportunity is closing rapidly, as the Skwal scientists only think that there’s one day left in the time machine’s life before it pops out of existence for good. The girl reluctantly agrees to go on the mission but insists on taking some cargo with her. As Dale activates the machine, things go all higglety pigglety. Cut back to the present. Master Splinter is there with the four Turtles… who are now four odd looking robots. Splinter explains that the bomb went off and blew the Turtles to bits, but he’s managed to save their parts as well as their brains, which he’s had to place into the robots for safe keeping. As Master Splinter gets busy piecing the Turtles’ bodies back together, the TMNRobots head off to Bill’s TV Repair to pay April’s electric bill. We discover that Bill is demented and very angry at April for refusing to go out with him – so angry that he planted the bomb in her television that blasted our hapless heroes to smithereens. After Bill rants about April, he finally notices the four whacked ‘bots in his building and assumes that they’re devils. The crazed repairman then activates his giant TV Robot, which attacks the Turtlebots. As the battle ensues, Raph manages to wrest the TV Robot’s remote control from Bill, and commands it to sit… unfortunately, the mechanical monster is standing directly above Bill and Raphbot when it receives the command… Two million years in the past, Dale emerges from her time machine, and is quickly attacked by an ape-man. Fortunately, the girl has George’s ray gun, and she freezes her ancestor in mid-leap. Dale explains to monkey-boy that she’s here to make his life easier, so he won’t be so violent, and humanity will evolve into a more peaceful race. She teaches him about gardening and presents him with a comfy recliner. The Time Traveler also gives the ape-man a mask of Jocko (an Australian actor who used to sell batteries in American TV commercials… very odd TV commercials), to protect him from predators. Finally, Dale gives monkey-boy a puppy, for him to snuggle and care for. Mission accomplished, Dale gets back into her time machine and heads for home. When Dale emerges from the machine, George is ecstatic. Evil men across the globe are turning over a new leaf and becoming more admirable. The world is currently a confused mess, but by morning everyone should have morphed into far nicer creatures, thus making Earth a veritable paradise of peace and love. “No more armies… no more wars… no more weapons…” muses the Skwal… “In short, nothing to defend yourselves from the Invasoskwals! This great paradise will be ours!” the crafty alien finishes. “You tricked me!!” exclaims Dale. Things go haywire once again, and then we cut back to April’s apartment, where we find the Turtles returned to their old selves. As they celebrate with Casey Jones and Master Splinter, Mike’s soda can pops out of existence. As he asks if anyone saw it happen, April calls out to them to come quick. As the guy’s rush to find out what’s wrong, we see that April is watching the Pee Wee Herman show, and the secret word of the day is “turtle.” As Splinter laments the mess the Turtles have made of the place, everyone starts losing their memory… and then the TMNT and Master Splinter revert back into their original, non-mutated animal forms. Casey looks up from a crossword puzzle and asks April if she said something… in the final panel we see Ms. O’Neil delighted to find four normal turtles on her sofa.

Finally in part #3, “Totally Hacked!” As this issue opens, we find a disgruntled Dale sulking on a utopian Earth. “How many stupid times to-stupid-day do I have to save the stupid planet?” she growls as she kicks a mushroom. As the girl heads into The Forest (marked with a sign labeled, “Abandon Continuity All Who Enter Here”), she’s confronted by an angry, costumed rat calling himself The Fannywhacker. The rat demands to know why Dale isn’t in school and she points out that it’s Sunday, whereby the rat demands to know why she isn’t in Sunday School. The girl explains that it’s almost dark and Sunday School let out hours ago. An enraged Fannywhacker scribbles demerits on his clipboard before admitting that he’s not very good at his job… or anything else. The rat laments that all he wants to do is squash punks and read comic books, but the world is so perfect that there’s no crime to punish. As Fannywhacker exclaims that some grave cosmic error must have taken place, Dale decides that he’s the one person on Earth desperate (and crazy) enough to get into the quickly deteriorating time machine and try to undo what she had done in the previous issue. Armed with confidence in her companion’s instability, the girl hatches a plan… Meanwhile, back at April’s apartment, the Turtles (still in their normal, pet shop turtle form) are stuck in an aquarium and are going stir crazy. The guys try to escape, but their efforts are futile. Two million years in the past, the ape man is busy in his garden when the dilapidated time machine appears. The happy ape man is overjoyed, thinking that Dale has come back to visit him… but he’s rudely alerted to the arrival of The Fannywhacker when the rat greets him with a punch in the jaw. The costumed rodent then destroys the garden and the comfy recliner before launching the puppy into the air with a mighty toss. “Now that oughta incite the little goon!” Fannywhacker decrees. Monkeyboy runs off to save his dog but returns quickly, infuriated and wearing his Jocko mask. Fannywhacker rips the mask into tiny pieces and then runs off, ape man in hot pursuit. The Fannywhacker makes it back inside the time machine, leaving Homo Habilis outside, kicking the cube in frustration. The rat pops his head out of the vehicle and honks monkeyboy’s nose, and then launches the craft forward in time… leaving a very, very angry and very, very frustrated caveman in the past. As Fannywhacker travels back to the future, he reverts to his true form, that of crime fighter The Gnatrat. Thus, the plans of the Skwal are foiled, and humankind returns to its violent past (and present). Unfortunately for Gnatrat, as he tries to journey home, the time machine begins to come apart… Back at April’s apartment, the Turtles have reverted back to their mutated forms… but are knocked senseless, as they were still inside the aquarium when the change took place. In the sewers, Master Splinter is relaxing by playing a Speed Racer video game when he hears a knock at the door. The Sensei assumes that it must be the Shredder, so he loads a cannon and blasts a hole through the door. Unfortunately for Gnatrat, he was the one behind the door, and the giant projectile imbeds itself into the rodent detective’s chest. As Splinter fetches Gnatty a shoehorn to pry the missile out of his torso, the crime fighter explains his predicament: thanks to Dale’s malfunctioning time machine, he’s now trapped seven years in his past. Splinter hatches a nutty plan to utilize Supperman and Gnatrat’s Vulcan mind-meld ability to get Gnatty back to his own time. Meanwhile, the Turtles have decided to go out for pizza. The boys don their disguises and head out into the night. Gnatrat (whose secret identity is bazillionaire playboy Boo Swain), buys a restaurant for one million dollars. Gnatty and Splinter put out an “All U Can Eat” sign and wait for Supperman to arrive. As soon as the gluttonous hero sits down, the pair of rats begin to stuff him with tons of food. Supperman eats until he looks ready to explode, wherein Splinter and Gnatrat unveil the “koop da grass!” – a gigantic pizza! The Turtles show up just as the megapie is pulled from the oven and exclaim that they’ll take it. Gnatrat rudely tells the Turtles to beat it. Splinter tells Boo to cool it, as he knows the Turtles and they’ve had a bad day. Gnatrat continues to be rude, and an argument breaks out between the two rodents. Gnatty screams that they’re wasting time and their plan will be ruined by the Turtles if they don’t hurry. Splinter sighs and then gives the pizza to the the TMNT. This action enrages Gnatrat and he attacks the Sensei. Splinter flips the charging Gnatty into the restaurant near the overstuffed Supperman. As the crime fighter stands up and prepares for battle, Supperman lets out an enormous belch, which rockets Gnatrat into the stratosphere, where he orbits the Earth with such incredible speed that he travels forward in time… thus landing back in his own time zone. Next, we find Dale in her room at home arguing with George. The alien is angry, but he leaves in his ship – and the Earth is saved from alien invasion. From downstairs, Dale’s mother yells at the girl for talking to strangers and reminds her that she has a test tomorrow. “You’ve really got your work cut out for you, young lady!” Dale’s mom screams. “…I know.” Dale states, as she dejectedly reads the newspaper, which is filled with violent headlines.

Trade Paperback reprints/collects: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1988 – 1989) Issues #16,22,23.  Mirage Studios

Trade Paperback is bagged & boarded and will be carefully / securely packaged then shipped via USPS Priority Mail to ensure that it arrives to you perfectly and quickly.

First Printing
Publisher: Mirage Studios
Publication Date: November 1990
Format: BW, 108 pages, TPB, 6.75″ x 10.25″
ISBN: None Stated

Collectible Entertainment note: Trade Paperback is in Very Fine + condition.  Beautiful!  Please See scans!!  A must have for any serious Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles collector and/or enthusiast.  A fun & entertaining read.  Recommended.

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